Tim and I met senior year of high school when my family moved to North Carolina after Christmas. My first day at Leesville High, Chauncey (my brother) met me after classes and introduced me to his friend from track (Tim). The picture below was taken last March in the exact location of our first meeting. Sigh.
An inconspicuous beginning for such a great story.
Shortly after we met, Tim stopped me in the hall after his English class and before mine and did one of these little things on me (pictured below). I forgot what they were called--but you remember, pick a color, then pick another one and then inside that is your fortune.
So I picked a color and inside it said, "A boy named Tim really wants to ask you out for Friday night" or some such. Never a fool, I exclaimed, "I bet they all say that" and indeed they did.
I then laughed and said, "Some girl is going to really like that," and proceeded into my English class.
It wasn't until I got home from school that day that I clued in that he might have been asking me out.
It is kind of fun having such a long history together. Below are some of the more memorable events of life as well as our courtship.
We went to senior prom together...
...And high school graduation...
...BYU's Homecoming...
...then Preference
(which incidentally, was the last time we ever really danced together. Don't think I haven't tried. But I guess he figures he's already locked that down...)
He proposed to me in Tonga, in a field across from the school I taught at. Come to think of it, I think that was the last time we danced together. He had his walk-man (I almost said iPod) and we had earbuds in (if they had ear buds then) and we danced in the rain. He gave me the necklace in the picture when he asked me. This picture was taken the night he proposed. Not a fabulous picture, but what can you do in the pre-digital age.
If I am remembering this right, I think I said yes.
We took our engagement pictures on Tim's parents land. It was, and is, Tim's happy place. We had hundreds of pictures and we could only use one, so these are a couple of the good, but not good enough, pictures.
Incidentally, I remember being frustrated in college because I was "built like a boy." I felt like I didn't have hips (or maybe it was that I didn't have a waist--it is kind of the same thing).
Looking at this picture, I seriously lament how crazy I was. I looked fantastic! If only we knew what was coming so we could fully appreciate what we had.
Our wedding day.
A really great day in our lives, but fortunately for us, the best was still yet to come.
Emily introduced me to a Sheryl Crow song recently, In Need, that characterizes one of the most valuable and meaningful parts of my relationship with Tim:
And if you carry me tonight
I would be strong enough to fight
And when you're weak and can't go on
I'd be the bed you lay upon
It's a terrible cliche but I'm going to say it anyway...prepare yourself... here it goes...Tim really is my best friend. We aren't the best friends that have everything in common, or understand each other perfectly, or who never fight. But we are the best friends who love enough and trust enough to carry and be carried, even if someone needs to be carried for years or we need to keep switching off because we are both just too tired. In the end that is worth so much more than someone who agrees with you all the time (where is the fun in that anyway?)
I've come to believe that perhaps marriage is not about being "one person," two halves of the same whole, but rather being two individually whole people who respect each other's differences (even the ones you don't love) and spend the years learning to coexist and combine the differences in a way that makes life more enjoyable and meaningful for everyone. Two people who, because they love each other, chose to share a life together and be each other's safety net and support.
Thank you Tim for being the "bed I lay upon" for the past 10 years.
